the smell of it all

As I lost my sense of taste from the first round of chemo on.  But my sense of smell went into over drive.

The good thing, later on,  was it enabled me to drink things like orange juice which I couldn't actually taste.  I'd put fresh OJ in a wine glass to get the flavor via the aroma because I would never have drank OJ again if it were the "taste" I was getting as I learned to swallow again.

Everything tasted like "shit" as in, not good.  Nothing tasted good.  Certainly nothing tasted normal.  Talk about a deterrent from eating.  That will do it.  Eating was as much social and enjoyable for me as it was required to get nutriment.  Take away the enjoyment of eating...any enjoyment and you (most of us) will stop eating for the most part.

But as my sense of smell got more acute the smell from charred flesh (at least it smelled like charred flesh) in my throat became nauseating.   My wonder dog Marley 's breath became unbearable no matter how much he wanted to comfort me (and he really did daily).  I wanted him snuggled to me on the bad days.  And he made a point of doing so.  What a treasure he was during the entire time.

But I started wondering if he might die before me because of how his breath the smelled.  He is just 4 so his breath is actually just fine for any one with a normal sense of smell.

Poor Tracy.  She caught the "act" and knew I was having problems with everything that related to smell.  Even being kissed had become unpleasant because of the smell.  Or at least how my brain was interpreting the smell. Never said things weren't getting weird.