I got to thinking about this over the weekend. I have never been terrified of pain. Through a broken back (crusted vertebrae actually) , a number of broken legs, dislocated shoulder, too many broken fingers and toes to count and the various soft tissue injuries none of them had really slowed me down much. None really all that noticeable as they healed up in various forms of 100%.
But this chemo/rad thing was different. Not likely I could have dealt with it any better without the time I have spent suffering while climbing. The exhaustion, the pain of cold or heat and dehydration all helped I think. But it was the bike rides and various runs I have really felt pain. Likely nothing even close to child birth but enough pain for me....that is for certain.
I read some where that if a woman could remember the pain of child birth she would never have sex again. I think it is much the same for climbers. If we could only remember how bad it really was we would never go back.
Then there are the bike rides and runs. I have a lactate producing and projectile vomit induced hill climb I do on my bike. Been riding it off and on for 7 years now and it is never easy. In '07 and '08 I would ride it sometimes twice in a row. Easy enough as it takes between 25 to 30 minutes at a casual pace. And even at a casual pace it still hurts. Last time I rode it seriously was 9/08. Then as a measure of my fitness I began again in April '12.
Ramp the pace up to the 20 minute mark on this climb and it simply hurts. I use to like that "hurt". In fact I was addicted to it and wanted it everyday even when it was trashing my knees from the slow cadence back in '08. Then with chemo I learned what pain really was. I ground my teeth so hard they broke and didn't talk for days at a time. I can barely remember now just how bad it really was.
My resting hear rate is now 10 beats higher than it was pre cancer. And hitting my old "easy" working heart rate of 175 difficult, but not impossible now. The upper LTH limit in the low 180s...even harder and more painful. My maximum heat rates of 192 on the bike and 194 on the run I have yet to see again.
Not sure I ever will again. The mid 180s is nasty enough right now. I don't like the pain. In fact I REALLY don't like the pain. Hitting anything in the 180s simply hurts too much and I am finding myself shying away from those kinds of work outs...the same ones I use to really love.
I am not sure I will ever again be able to deal with the pain associated with the high heart rate numbers. Without those same high heart rate numbers I will not excel at my chosen activities. Interesting delima.
